Mom Bans English Language

I remember the day I started our new vocabulary program. One of my sons had a tendency to overgeneralize by using the words always and never in reference to his brothers behaviors...and they weren't targeted at positive actions.  I grew frustrated at the bickering that ensued after one of his "you always put the cap back on the lemonade when you know I want some" type of statements.  Also, during times of stress the boys would use vocabulary that was not so pleasant.  Desperate for peace, I had to create a program that would decrease inflammatory speech that often led to arguments.

Anyone with children must be able to relate to tension among siblings, which is usually borne out of poor communication.  Normally, we begin with gentle reminders to children to be respectful and speak kindly to each other.  Those "gentle reminders" are easily forgotten when there are no consequences, and the next tense situation brings more explosive dialogue. With the multiple tasks and responsibilities a parent has each day, the last thing we need in our environment is negative language and/or bickering among siblings.

Happy was my day when the inspiration for the BANNED WORD LIST arose.  From the name, one would guess that certain words are banned from the vocabulary in our family.  It started with always and never, which are words many would not believe to be negative or harmful, but the context in which my son was using them was inappropriate because it was not true that his brother "never" cleaned his room.  Quickly, the list grew with words that are antagonistic, pessimistic or simply unfavorable.  The penalty for using banned words is $1.  Though, for others who consider this system, any creative retribution could work. (ie The loss of privileges, particularly TV or video time, or additional chores, like picking weeds.)

My decision to carry on the BANNED WORD LIST was cemented when my son expressed his disapproval.  His claim was that sometimes we don't know what we are going to say.  HA! Exactly!  We should be conscious of what we are going to say.  Our words should be spoken thoughtfully, with kindness and respect.  The lesson I hope to teach is not that one should be punished when using bad words, but to increase the mindfulness of how words can effect others.

Additionally, using the BANNED WORD LIST is expanding the children's vocabulary because they are forced to think of different ways to express their thoughts. However, it is known that using a similar word to express a negative thought, will only add new words to the list.

My boys tease me that soon I will ban the entire English vocabulary.....well, it might inspire them to practice their foreign language more often, but I would never ban the good words. 

Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man. Colossians 4:6